The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Disclaimer:
The film I’ll be reviewing this week is rated: R
(If you know anything about this movie, this is to be expected)
There is adult content and images unsuitable for children included in this review.
Per my first commenter’s instructions, I’ve decided to accommodate their request to review this movie to kick off my blogging…“career”? Sure, that’s what I’ll call it. To start off, I want to get a little something off my chest real quick. Since I am a transgender woman myself, the content of this movie does resonate with me pretty deeply, although I may have a bit of a controversial take on this film amongst others in my community. It’s not that I hate this movie, far from it, I do really like it. Although, if I’m being honest, I don’t love it.
Before I’m brought before the Supreme Court of the Gay, allow me to explain a bit more. Essentially one of the biggest draws of this movie outside of the queer intrigue is its campiness. After all this movie is considered a cult classic for a very specific reason, especially among its fans. One of the biggest inspirations for this movie is old horror b-movies which had a tendency to be awkward, overblown, and lacking in any semblance of logic. As far as my interests are concerned, more often than not I tend to be drawn towards plot-driven tales rich in interesting characters that challenge my preconceived notions of reality (at least when I want to feel superior watching the Oscars), but it’s obvious that is not this movie’s intention, and that’s not a negative criticism for what the film wants to accomplish.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show only wants to be a send-up to those classic b-movies while giving it’s own personal musical twist on the concept through the lens of a questioning LGBTQ+ person. What really hooks me about this movie is of course its energetic musical numbers, flamboyant energy, and creative visuals. Given that, I do believe the film accomplishes that goal well, and with that being said, let’s do the Time Warp again! This is The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
We start off the movie with some luscious red lips singing about more confusing niche references than I had originally planned to put in this review and setting the tone for just how horny this movie is going to be later on. I should mention as well that while this scene is only about four and a half minutes and never appears in the film again, the image of that disembodied singing mouth has become such a cornerstone of the movie that you see it appear in practically all of the promotional materials for this movie. It truly is an unforgettable moment and a great way to start off this oddball adventure in my opinion.
This scene then fades into a shot of a wedding chapel where we’re introduced to the protagonists of this story Brad Majors (played by Barry Bostwick) and Janet Weiss (played by Susan Sarandon) exiting the chapel after their friend’s wedding. Janet catches the bouquet and Brad proposes to her soon after resulting in the first song and dance number of the movie to commemorate the moment. Once finished, an extremely weird guy named The Criminologist (played by Charles Gray) appears on screen to tell us the story of what happened to Brad and Janet the day after Brad’s proposal.
For the longest time I was never quite sure how to feel about The Criminologist because he does make several appearances throughout the story to comment on what’s happening, although he doesn’t seem to add that much to the story outside of explaining things that either already happened and/or will happen soon after. He essentially operates as a glorified transition generator to help the scenes flow a bit more naturally and the only thing he seems to offer the audience is the novelty of a supposedly well-read, intellectual, and stuck-up man enjoying party dancing, participating in songs, and commenting on the characters’ sexual exploits. I think Charles Gray plays him well and does a good job of keeping the tone consistent throughout each of his character’s appearances, but ultimately he is pretty pointless.
Brace yourselves, because it’s about to get very gay. Next we transition via Bon Jovi album cover to a scene of Brad and Janet driving down a road in the rain when they eventually reach a dead end and have to turn around. In the process of reversing, they pop one of their rear tires and have to walk to the castle they passed on the road a few miles earlier in order to use their phone and find someone that can help them fix their problem. While underneath the world’s most water resistant newspaper, Janet begins another sing-along with Brad and at the end we are introduced to another major player in the film named Riff Raff (played by the creator/songwriter Richard O’Brien) who allows them to come inside the castle to dry off. He and his sister Magenta (played by Patricia Quinn) promptly assault their guests with party dances while ignoring their pleas for a phone call.
I know I’ll be the first to say, because I’m obviously the first person to review this movie in its nearly 50 year existence, but the Time Warp scene is definitely still as energetic and fun as the first time it was shown. If you are a fan of the movie as well, you may be aware of the fact that the Time Warp wasn’t intended to be in the movie until one of the producers approached Richard O’Brien and demanded that there be a definitive dance number in the film. Surprisingly, despite being a last minute addition, it really doesn’t feel like it when you watch it because it also does come back into play at the end of the film which gives it more of an air of authenticity. Although, even if it didn’t come back into play, I’d still say it was worth it, because the Time Warp is a lot of fun and adds a lot to the zany nature of the story.
Afterwards Brad and Janet are interrupted again by the master of the house Dr. Frank N. Furter (played by Tim Curry in his first role) in his private elevator inside a medieval castle, and his audacity to wear pearls with a black cape! Scandalous! He introduces himself through easily one of the most iconic songs of the movie, Sweet Transvestite, which upon completion signals his servants Riff Raff, Magenta, and now Columbia (played by Nell Campbell) to strip off all of Brad and Janet’s close with the exception of their underwear. I refer you back to horny movie. They follow the good doctor up his private elevator into his laboratory where they witness the creation of his own personal living sex toy the Rocky Horror himself, or Rocky for short (played by Peter Hinwood).
Rocky’s a bit rowdy after being freshly created and sings a song while running around the lab to the irritation of Dr. Frank N. Furter. After talking some sense into his creation he sings a song about how sexy Rocky is until he’s interrupted by the deep freezer of the lab bursting open with a microwaveable biker inside. This biker is named Eddie (played by Meatloaf) and he immediately bursts into everyone’s least favorite song.
So far in the movie we’ve had a total of eight songs (including the introduction song sang by our favorite invisible lipstick model Science Fiction/Double Feature), and three of them were sung in just the last paragraph that I wrote. This speaks to something I especially wanted to discuss about this movie, that being the pacing. After some of its most iconic, hummable, and danceable tunes, its pacing really starts to degrade and the movie becomes more incoherent as a result. Especially in the case of the sudden appearance of Eddie and his song, this is where you really start to ask yourself “Uh, what am I watching?” if you weren’t already caught off guard by the appearance of Tim Curry in heels, fishnets, a corset, and full makeup.
This makes it seem like the filmmakers are making it up as they go because as abruptly as Eddie enters the movie, he exits by Dr. Frank N. Furter killing him with an ice pick. It really makes the previous scene seem so much more pointless, but at least Dr. Frank N. Furter gets to finish his lusty song about Rocky in the end and holds a pretend marriage for the two of them before swiftly consummating it. I refer you back to horny movie. Don’t worry though, to make that Eddie moment seem less pointless they will bring him back into play later on despite him being dead. It’ll make about as much sense as the rest of this movie.
Brad and Janet are then whisked away to separate rooms. Janet’s is red while Brad’s is blue even though both rooms are exactly the same layout-wise. Dr. Frank N. Furter then decides he’s not fully spent and goes to sexually confuse both Janet and Brad respectfully while Riff Raff and Magenta take advantage of Rocky being alone and decide to shoo him away with a lit candlestick and release guard dogs to chase him around the castle. While halfway through the process of giving Brad a wicked BJ, Riff Raff summons Furter to inform him of Rocky’s escape which he doesn’t take well. In the meantime, Janet’s head is still spinning from that crazy encounter with Dr. Frank N. Furter, and in the process finds a shivering Rocky under a sheet in the same tank he was created in. The dogs that were chasing him will never be mentioned or seen again. Janet mends Rocky’s wounds before suddenly deciding she’s attracted to Rocky and they have sex while Janet sings about it, which is surprisingly not the horniest song in the movie. I refer you back to horny movie.
Meanwhile, Dr. Frank N. Furter takes Riff Raff and Brad back up to the lab and takes out his aggression on his ‘faithful’ handyman for allowing Rocky to escape. They then take notice that a certain someone has decided to drop by, that being Dr. Everett Scott (played by Jonathan Adams) whom they scientifically magnetize in front of them (I don’t know/don’t care). He reveals that he’s there to inquire about Eddie for he’s actually Dr. Scott’s nephew. Big reveal! Still doesn’t make that one scene any less pointless, but wait! Dun-dun-dun! Rocky had sex with Janet! Oh right, they were literally fornicating in the lab right next to Dr. Frank N. Furter, Brad, Dr. Scott, and Riff Raff. The movie considers this a huge reveal because they do the classic name calling gag for an uncomfortably long amount of time, but since this movie was inspired by b-movies I’ll let it slide. Personal revenge lists are crafted in our characters’ heads when Magenta announces it’s dinner time.
It’s around this point that even if you’re a casual viewer you may start to notice yourself feeling a bit bored. I know I do right about here, because one thing I noticed is that when there aren’t any songs playing, this movie is a bit hard to watch. Mostly because when forced to focus on the nonsensical story, it often just makes your brain hurt more than anything else. At least it was more fun to watch when you had an excuse to wiggle your butt in the cinema while munching on popcorn and mouthing lyrics, but now it feels like you actually have to make sense of what the heck a sonic oscillator is which clearly the writers didn’t know what that was when they wrote it either.
However, if you did manage to get through the boredom, over dinner they endure some drawn out silences that are also pretty boring to watch before Dr. Scott interjects with his Eddie problem. You better believe that’s cause for another song! In my opinion this is one of the more underrated songs in the movie, literally called Eddie. I always find myself tapping my foot at this one and getting back into that Rocky Horror mood whenever it plays, especially after that long stretch of boredom.
But wait, Dr. Frank N. Furter reveals that Eddie’s corpse is being kept under the tablecloth! It’s in a surprisingly late stage of decomposition considering how he hasn’t been dead that long, and our favorite transvestite mad scientist chases Janet back up to the lab while manhandling her whenever he can and Brad and Dr. Scott follow close behind. When they arrive at the lab, Dr. Frank N. Furter freezes all of them to the floor using more science babble and then turns all of them to stone (including Janet, Brad, Dr. Scott, Columbia, and Rocky) which also leaves them completely naked except for Dr. Scott who’s given a blanket. I refer you back to horny movie.
Later Dr. Frank N. Furter has dressed each of his statues up similarly to himself and then unfreezes them so they can put on a song and dance number. While each of the mini Furters do well with their singing parts, I would like to personally point out Brad who I think perfectly encapsulates the confusion and euphoria associated with a baby LGBTQ+ person who’s just discovered themselves. Also during this sequence we see the appearance of a personal pool for the good doctor in front of a cardboard radio tower backdrop which he jumps into after singing about queer problems. Normally I wouldn’t bother mentioning this, but it’s shot from a birds-eye view where we can see the bottom is decorated with Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam while Dr. Frank N. Furter himself floats in an S.S. Titanic life-preserver and sings ‘Don’t dream it, be it.’ I think that scene speaks for itself.
Not long after, Riff Raff and Magenta burst into the room proclaiming they’re heading back to their home planet. Dr. Frank N. Furter mistakenly believes they intend to take him with them which causes him to sing another song and also is pretty pointless. It’s a slow and emotional song which, just to be real, it seems like an excuse to try to get the audience to empathize with him before what’s about to happen, but I think it just drags things out longer than they need to be. Also, for a song that is surprisingly not a last minute addition, it feels more like a last minute addition than the actual last minute addition of Time Warp.
Of course Riff Raff tells him the truth afterwards that he intends to kill him and leave with his sister. Before he can do the deed, Columbia screams for some reason causing Riff Raff to shoot her with his laser and kill her. Next is Dr. Frank N. Furter who tries to escape by climbing the curtain at the back of the stage (dumb plan) which obviously results in him being shot by Riff Raff’s laser and dying. Rocky becomes so distraught he picks up his creator’s corpse and climbs the false radio tower at the back of the stage despite being shot several times by Riff Raff’s laser. While the laser doesn’t seem to have any effect, what finally does Rocky in is the tower toppling over into the pool directly in front of it and drowning.
Riff Raff and Magenta shoo Brad, Janet, and Dr. Scott away while they make more uncomfortable incestuous comments at each other and convert the castle into a spaceship which they use to Time Warp their way back to their home planet of Transsexual in the galaxy Transylvania. As a trans person I feel seen. The three that are left behind are left disheveled and disoriented on the ground without a satanic mechanic to save them while The Criminologist wraps up the story with a short speech and a light-up globe before closing the door on this ridiculous tale.
At the end of the day, I do still agree with what I said at the beginning of this post, that being I do really like this movie. When it is being a completely insane but enjoyable carnival of music and dance I can’t help but enjoy it, although I have come to notice more of its flaws the more times I’ve seen it. Although, when it comes to any movie you like I believe that is a common side effect, but I think that if you’ve come this far in this post, you’ve probably accepted that already like I have. I do still recommend it despite its flaws and hopefully you’ll also be able to decide if this is the kind of story you would enjoy as well.
If you’re still looking for a movie this week for your weekend movie night, feel free to grab some snacks, pop this film in, turn out the lights, make sure your parents aren’t home, and enjoy a science fiction double feature on me.
Thank you very much to commenter MaimieRaykelley who suggested this film to me!
(I make no claim of ownership for any of the images used in this post)
(Each of them are owned entirely by their respective copyright holders which are not me)
(I am just a humble blogger who talks about movies, I do not make them)
(Yet)
